Expert Advice from wedding guru, Sharon Naylor
Question:
Sharon, Question on to whom to send an invitation. I am the mother of the bride and our family lives in NC and my daughter’s fiancés and his family live in WV. Our extended family lives all over and all of his family lives in WV. We have decided to have the wedding in WV, since all of our families would have to travel anyway. We really don't see our side of our extended family very often and I don't think they would even come to the wedding, however; I don't want them to feel left out by not sending them an invitation. Is that weird to send an invitation but not really expect them to come or should we save the money and not send the invitation?
Answer:
Great question! Whenever you send an invitation to someone, you should always expect that they WILL come. Family that doesn't get together very often is more likely now to make a plan to travel for a family wedding -- with everyone together in one place, making that their vacation has a great benefit to it. And with a discounted hotel room block, it helps make it more affordable for them.
So I'd build your guest list only on those who you really want to be there and would be thrilled to have there. I know you don't want to offend extended family members, but you also don't want to be stuck with a huge guest list and huge expenses when everyone says Yes. So assume that everyone who gets an invitation will say Yes, and send invitations only to those who fit into a manageable guest list size.
It's a common thing for long-distance family and wedding locales to not want to leave people off the invitation list, and that's one of the hardest tasks in wedding planning. But the reality is that everyone knows that weddings are expensive these days and that hosts can't invite everyone they would like to. So most guests who don't get an invitation will understand...if anyone asks, just say you wish you could invite everyone, but you had big space and budget issues to contend with, and you couldn't do all the inviting you wanted to.
This is a tough element of weddings, and I wish you luck with it!
Sharon
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