Rebuilding Your Relationship With Your Children After A Divorce

Divorce can be difficult for children. Parents and children can be disorientated and hurt by the actions of their parents.
Mary Ann and Mike were married for 12 years. They had two children: Ashley, 8 years, and Jenna (5). The marriage was ended with divorce when Mike admitted to adultery. Even though he stated he would like to reconcile, Mary Ann felt she couldn't believe him.

Mary Ann married Brad three years after the divorce. While Ashley and Jenna were respectful of Brad however, they were furious with Mary Ann for refusing reconciliation with their father. They accused their mother of being cruel and blamed her for divorce from their father. Mary Ann, hurt and angered, attacked the girls verbally. Mother and daughters were entangled in a chasm of hurt feelings and misunderstood motives. Whether you expect a knockout post about family relationship, check over here.

Children are often affected by divorce that are typically stricken by their need to be loved by each parent. Confusion and hurt can often result in resentment and emotional separation between kids and parents. Parents can try to reconcile with their children and promote healing in the relationship.

Communication lines must remain open.
Invite your children to dinner at least once per week, with your new partner. If they aren't willing to speak with you, do not try to force them into talking. It's okay to sit quietly as you eat, and that's acceptable. If you do this you will show your children that you are not willing to give up because your relationship with them is vital. To keep communication open, send your children letters or texts throughout the week. They will notice how much you care for them and are keen on creating a bond. Be authentic. Children can tell the difference between parents trying to resolve a problem to satisfy their own needs and those who are concerned about their children's feelings.

Accept the responsibility of your role in the conflict, and beg forgiveness.
Mary Ann's response to her daughters anger was a major factor in the relationship rift. Think about your past encounters with your kids and -- with the help of a counselor who will be honest with you -- talk about the way your actions and words might have been interpreted. And then, admit to your kids. When you exhibit humility and respect toward your children, you open the way for them to become open and vulnerable with you.

Don't take your child's angry or hurtful behavior to heart.
Your children may be terrified of losing you as a parent. This fear can be disguised with anger. If your child is not willing to attend therapy, you may meet with the counselor by yourself for help in dealing effectively with the issue. The positive changes that will occur within the family partnership begin with you.

Your children need to be aware that God is more concerned about them than you are.
Divorce and remarriage can make children feel confused and lost. Children often wonder if God truly cares for their lives as they consider their situation. Listen to their questions and concerns however, ensure them that God's mercy and presence in all circumstances.

Remind your children to be accountable, and teach them how to behave.
Don't let disrespect be a part of your role as an adult parent. Your children should know that their feelings are important and that you are always attentive and willing to listen to their opinions and thoughts regarding divorce. Respond without personalizing or internalizing the words spoken. If you are crossing a boundary, stop the conversation for a short period of time and tell your child that you're taking a timeout until you can listen with more clarity.