Expert Advice from wedding guru, Sharon Naylor

Answer:

This is definitely a case for a phone call, not an e-mail. Have a list of crucial points written down in front of you..."I know I spoke with you about being bridesmaids in my wedding, but I wanted to talk with you directly about the fact that the wedding plans have changed a *lot* since we last spoke. We've changed the date due to (groom's)possibly deployment, and we made a bunch of additional changes. So we decided to also scale down our bridal party to just two on each side, so this is one of those tough phone calls I have to make to share the news that we made some changes." Now, if these girls haven't talked to you in a while, they're likely going to be FINE with this, since being in a bridal party costs an average of $1000 these days! A change in plans means they get to save some big money! No dress purchase, no shoes, no shower to throw -- they register the perks.

As for the hurt feelings, you'll prevent that in how you talk to them, which you can only do in a phone call or in person. E-mail creates rude drama, since people rightly get offended that you didn't even have the courage or consideration to talk with them. Feels like getting fired!

Ask if they'd like to participate in another way, such as doing readings, being greeters, participating in the ceremony, etc. because you do care about them and want them honored in some way.