Expert Advice from wedding guru, Sharon Naylor

Answer:

Building a guest list has always been a huge challenge for brides and grooms, especially when parents have big guest lists of their own to add! Now, with the economy so shaky and weddings so expensive, it's more important than ever to create a good plan to help you keep your guest list in line.

Here is what I suggest: Each of you should create a Guest List Tiers system, assigning each of your friends, family members and others into categories.

Tier 1 would be parents, siblings, their spouses or dates, kids, and grandparents, godparents and other essential guests [include the officiant +1!], and the bridal party and their dates
Tier 2 would be aunts and uncles plus cousins [and their +1s IF you're giving +1s to singles], and close friends
Tier 3 would be second cousins
Tier 4 would be co-workers and bosses, plus their dates
Tier 5 would be parents' friends
Tier 6 would be neighbors, and so on

Once you get a grand total for your guest list [such as 200 people, for instance], you'd both go through your lists and cut out Tier 6 to see how many people are left. Tier 5 goes next, and so on.

When you cut entire Tiers of guests, you eliminate much of the family squabbling that happens when some second cousins are invited and some aren't.

Since it seems like your fiance wants to invite a huge amount of people, this type of list tool really puts it into perspective and helps cut down the list.

When it comes to friends you haven't seen or heard from in years, make a rule...if you haven't heard from those friends in over 2 years, don't exchange holiday cards, etc, those people can be cut from the list. Together, you create your own rules about this...how many years seems natural to you? It can be tough when you were invited to someone's wedding 5 years ago but haven't heard from them since. If a friendship has faded, it's okay to leave them off the list.

People understand that guest lists are smaller now, that not everyone can be invited...and truthfully, some people are *relieved* not to make the guest list, so that they can avoid the expense of travel and getting multiple gifts for wedding couples! It's a different world now...with the recession going on, some people are happy not to be invited!

Just tell your fiance that a huge guest list would mean that you'd have to spend your whole reception visiting from table to table, and that a smaller guest list will enable you both to have time to eat, drink, dance and enjoy your reception more.

Good luck!