Expert Advice from wedding guru, Sharon Naylor
Question:
Hi Sharon,
I am getting married in December and I am in the process of preparing my invitations. My father passed away a couple years ago and I'm not too sure how I need to word my invitations. Proper etiquette would be to omitt my father's name on the invitation; however, I'm not too comfortable doing that. Is there any other way to go about this? Any suggestions would be very appreciated!
Thank you,
Jessie
Answer:
Hi Jessie:
I can help, but I need a little bit more detail. Is your Mom hosting the wedding, or are you and your groom going to be the names up top?
I ask because you could word your invitations as such, IF YOU ARE THE HOSTS:
Jessie [full name],
daughter of [mom] and the late [dad]
and
[Groom],
son of [parents, listed as Mr and Mrs or their first names and last name]
request the pleasure of your company
as they unite in marriage
Would this work? In many cases where the mother of the bride is the host, the couple asks her if she would be okay with this arrangement of names, just so that the departed father's name can be more properly included on the invitation.
It's an etiquette rule, as you know, that you can't start off the top line:
Mrs. [name] and the late [father's name]
request the pleasure of your company...
It's just not done that way.
So would the above model work for you? If not, let me know and I'll give you another possibility~
Comments:
Comment From [email protected]:
I'm thinking this will work. I'll have to run the idea to my family. What are some other possibilities should my mom not like this model?
Comment From slnaylor:
You can also get a dual-fold invitation instead of a single panel.
On the right side would be the traditional invitation starting off with your mom as the host:
Mrs. [name]
requests the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of her daughter,
[you]
and
[groom],
son of [his parents]
....
On the left side, you can create a special feature that is much like you'd see in a program but is now super-popular for invitations. It would look like this:
Parents of the Bride:
[your mom] and the late [your dad]
Parents of the Groom:
[groom's parents]
Grandparents of the Bride:
[names, and put, 'in spirit' next to their names, rather than 'the late' before them]
Grandparents of the Groom
[same]
Yes, it's a re-state of your mom and his parents, but it makes for a fabulous tribute and a great way to include your dad's name.
Comment From slnaylor:
Oooops! Sorry! I meant to add 'if they're departed' for grandparents! My apologies!!
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