Expert Advice from wedding guru, Sharon Naylor

Answer:

When you have a tricky parental situation, that makes the invitation 'parent lines' a bit complicated.

If both sets of parents are contributing equally to the wedding, it's a good idea to avoid the naming names hassle and just put the top line as:

The loving parents of
[bride]
and
[groom]
request the honour of your company...

Couples who do this also solve the parent-naming need by chosing a tri-fold invitation and listing all of the parents' names on the left-hand panel, starting with the bride's mother (and partner), then the bride's father (and partner), then the groom's mother (and partner) and then the groom's father (and partner).

If you don't like this option, you can word your invitation as such

Mrs. Anne Johnson [your mother] and Mr. Joseph Johnson [not the girlfriend; only spouses are included on the official invitation! You can thank parents and partners by name in the program]

and then go on to say

Request the honour of your presence at the wedding of
their daughter
[you]
and
[groom]
son of
Mr. & Mrs. (groom's mother and spouse)
and
Mr. & Mrs. (groom's father and spouse)

That adds some extra lines to an invitation, BUT invitation designers are very familiar with the 'lots of parents' situation and can help you choose a style and font size to make your invitation look great. There's a new trend in longer invitation cards that give you the extra lines, so make sure you ask for a wedding expert's help!

For my wedding, I worked with Linda at www.invitations4sale.com, and she's terrific! She's the type of pro to give you a call immediately to suggest better wording and the proper order of parents' listing!

And no, you don't have to invite the girlfriend's kids to the wedding. Especially these days with everyone on a budget, guests understand that you can't invite everyone. And you're not obligated by etiquette rules to invite them. If you were super-close, I'd say Yes, but that's not the case so it's okay to skip them!

As for special dances at the reception, the big trend now is to follow the traditional father-daughter and mother-son dance with another spotlight dance in which you invite all of your parents and their spouses, partners or dates to join you on the dance floor to dance to a special song you love. If your Mom doesn't bring a date, ask her to dance with a favorite relative or friend. See who she'd like to dance with, since the spotlight couple's dance might be a bit awkward for her if the wounds of her breakup are fresh. But many Moms love having the chance to show the ex they're doing great! Make it part of a song to keep the lineup of spotlight dances short, so that all of your guests can get on the dance floor sooner!