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Maid of honor now engaged and driving me crazy

Love_birds
workingforawedding

So I'm having some issues with my maid of honor. We have been friends forever (since grade school) and I love her dearly, however, she is driving me nuts! We announced our engagement in January. At that point she had been living with her boyfriend of about a year and a half.

*background info- He is 9 years older than her and had been with his ex fiance for 8 years without following through with a wedding. And for the first 9 months of my friend's relationship with this guy, he was still letting his ex-fiance live with him!!!! I have other issues with this guy as well, but I won't go into it.

So, then in March she calls me crying saying she is going to break up with him. Following week everything is hunky-dory and now they are getting married!!!! Not only are they getting married but she wants it to be this October!!!

I kept thinking that I wasn't too happy because I was jealous and then the more I thought about it, I realized that's not it. I have the man I'm going to be with forever, and for our own reasons, we are not getting married till 2010. But I'm not happy about her situtation because now, everything is about her and her planning. Did I mention that she doesn't even have the ring yet!!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!? I guess they went and looked at rings, but their wedding is now about 3 months away, she's planning a wedding that is at least $50 a plate and she doens't have a ring yet!!

Am I crazy in not being happy about this situation?? Part of me feels like there is some competition and she wants to get married before I do (although, I have been with my finance over 3 years and she has been with hers 2 years of which the first 9 he still lived with his ex). I also feel like she is rushing it- I mean, who plans the entire, expensive wedding, without having a ring!?!?!?

Please give me some girl talk here!!!!

Written on Jul. 10, 2009

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5 replies. Displaying 1 through 5.
Love_birds
shawnandcharlene
Wedding Date: Feb, 2010
Manila, Philippines
View Wedding

From the sounds of it you have every right to go cuckoo on her. Maybe its about time to look for another MAid of Honor. You don't need her stress to add to your wedding planning. Move on girl!

Written on Jul. 15, 2009
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Love_birds
www.moonjiggy
Wedding Date: May, 2010
Kalamazoo, MI, USA
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I can completely understand where your head is at. There are two issues, #1 I really think that this guy is not who you want to see your friend with "forever". And secondly you are planning your forever with her as your your right hand woman and she needs to focus on you right now. Be graceful, tell her your happy for her and ask her if she would like to step back and be a bridesmaid because you really need the extra help right now and she now has a lot of time that she has to put into her wedding to be ready in time. The ring thing really does not matter, especially the engagement ring. Hopefully they can eventually get bands. But back to you, The Bride, keep your chin up and enjoy your special time no matter what!

Written on Jul. 20, 2009
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132363
[email protected]
Wedding Date: Oct, 2010
Grand Rapids, MI, USA
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I will say it's not about the ring either...I'm planning mine w/out a ring(f.y.i. house got robbed and it was stolen) so it can be done. But it is ok to feel upset about being pushed aside, you were first, but think of it this way( r u her MOH?) her planning will be done in less than 2 months and then it's back to you! Her's will no doubt look rushed and she won't have the excitement and build up like you will for the big day. If she complains just simply say to her, "you took on this situation yourself, just deal with it." She'll get the point.

Written on Aug. 20, 2009
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75320
[email protected]
Wedding Date: Jul, 2009
Dayton, OH, USA
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4238
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LOOK AT IT THIS WAY YOU BEEN WITH YOUR GUY FOR 3 YEARS AND YOU HAVE BUILT SOMETHING.SHE'S BEEN WITH HER 2 YEARS AND HAD TO SHARE HIM WITH THE EX.AND WHO'S TO SAY THAT SHE'S STILL NOT SHARING HIM AND DONT KNOW.LET HER HAVE A SPOT LIGHT NOW WHO'S KNOW HOW LONG IT WILL LAST.THERE IS NO REASON FOR YOU TO FEEL JEALOUS OF HER BECAUSE SHE WILL BE MARRIED BEFORE YOU,AND THAT SHE IS DOING IT WITHOUT A RING.THE RING DONT MAKE RELATIONSHIP THE LOVE AND WHAT YOU HAVE BUILT TOGETHER DO.YOUR DOING THE RIGHT THING BY TAKING YOUR TIME TO PLAN AND GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO MAKE YOUR DAY RIGHT FOR YOU.AND WATCH HOW JEALOUS SHE WILL BE BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE THINGS THAT SHE MISSED OUT ON BECAUSE SHES DOING IT SO FAST.IF SHE IS A TRUE FRIEND JUST MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE THERE FOR HER WILL SHE FALLS.(LETS HOPE THAT IT WON'T HAPPEN)SO FOR NOW LET SHE HAVE HER SPOT LIGHT'THEN IN 2010 THE SPOT LIGHT IS YOURS

Written on Aug. 26, 2009
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